Whether you are Newly married or married for a long time, it is nice to be able to getaway to a far distant land to charge (for a honeymoon) or recharge your relationship (say an anniversary). Having privacy and time to get to know each other as well as discover new cultures, food, and places makes it very exciting. In no particular order, below are the top 10 picks by Perfect Muslim Wedding for the most romantic places in the world. You may disagree and that is ok, we would love to get your addition to the list.
Here are some great photographs of these Romantic Muslim Destinations.
Ko Yao Noi, Thailand
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Photo by Azlan DuPree x available under a Creative Commons Attribution-license
Medina, Saudi Arabia
Marrakesh, Morocco worlds largest tannery
Istanbul, Turkey across from the bay
Cairo, Egypt with the Pyramids of Giza in the background
Granada, Spain (The Alhambra in the background)
For more details checkout our Perfect Muslim Wedding Honeymoon Guide.
It will be, God-willing, your first time. All these dreams and built-up anticipation. The exhilaration, the exhaustion. Rather than thinking about this as your Olympic final to get the gold we want to share you with you some practical tips that will help you and your new bride start a new and intimate journey together.
To use a simple analogy, when you learn to ride a bike you don’t just get on it and with perfect balance, power and speed start cruising down the roughest terrain. Set the expectation bar low, just as you didn’t master riding a bicycle or driving a car in one instance, mastering sex also takes practice.
Photo by Azlan DuPree available under Creative Commons Attribution License.
If things don’t go well, it’s not a reflection of your manhood. Sex is an emotional and physical act and there are a lot of things that will come together over a lifetime of marriage that will help you perfect it. Remember, when it comes to sexual arousal, your bride needs time, not pressure. Men can get an erection and go from 0 to 60 in a few seconds and reach orgasm in a couple of minutes. For women it can take 15-25+ minutes, so allow her time and make it a mutually enjoyable experience.
We cover some of the common advice in the post “44 Things You Should Know Before The Wedding Night.” Here are some other important things to think about:
1. Take care of grooming and hygiene. Shower, shave, and be clean for your bride. , Take care of your beard, and nose hairs.Body hygiene and grooming also includes shaving armpits and groin at least once a month if not more frequently. Clip your fingernails and file them so there are no sharp edges. Brush, floss, use mouthwash and a nice cologne. Avoid spraying antiperspirants, etc. as when you kiss each other it leaves a bad after-taste.
2. Get nice boxers (no silk) dark solid colors work best, red or black. As for pajamas, cotton is best.
3. Use the bathroom to empty your bladder. Once you get an erection, you don’t want to have the urge to go to the bathroom.
4. For the first night, it may be easier to undress separately in the bathroom, rather than in front of each other. Women are by nature very shy, and this being her first time and night, help give her confidence by dimming the lights, or turning them off completely. Try a nightlight or lighting candles.
5. Give your wife a massage using either massage oil or e.g. olive oil. It’s a great way to relax the body. You can learn basic techniques by getting a book from your library or examples on YouTube.
6. Feed each other. Put a bowl of fruit, chocolate or other delicious snacks by the bed to nibble on.
7. Say kind and positive reinforcing words to give your wife confidence.
8. Use a nice cologne, but use it lightly as you don’t want it to get in the way of taste when you kiss each other.
9. You can discuss and chose the position man on top (missionary) or woman on top whatever suits the two of you.
10. Focus on foreplay and delay intercourse and ejaculation giving time for her body to relax, lubricate, warm up and enjoy the pleasure.
11. When you feel you are both ready and the suspense is too much, put on a condom. Avoid Vaseline and other petroleum or oil based products with latex based condoms. Condoms are usually already lubricated.
12. You should invoke Allah (SWT) before intercourse by saying “Bismillahi Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaytana wa jannibi-sh-shaytana ma razaktana.” Insert the Penis into the vagina. There is some navigation involved and your wife can help guide you, to let you know when you are “in”. There are three adjacent cavities that a woman has. The first one down working your way down from the belly button is the Urethra, skip that, then the Vagina, that’s what you want and the last is the Anus, which you want to avoid at all costs. Here is a diagram that hopefully illustrates it.
13. If there is bleeding, don’t panic. Let your wife lie on her back, and bringing her knees together and or lifting them, hopefully the bleeding will stop. If not, seek medical attention.
14. By setting low expectations, you will not define your performance or pleasure by orgasm, or what others are going to think of you. Remember this is your private intimate moment and other than seeking help from a professional, you should keep whatever happens as both of your secret not to be shared with family or friends.
15. It can get messy, do keep Tissues/Kleenex near the bed. Also keep small plastic bags (eg ziploc bag) to dispose of the condom in the trash. Do NOT flush condoms down the toilet, they can block them and cause more problems and embarrassment.
16. After sex, you can immediately take a shower or it might be easier for each of you to once again relieve yourself, make wudu, and bathe later.
17. Sex, like marriage or child bearing, has a lot of trial and error. Be patient, and slowly you will learn to tune in to each others bodies and get in-sync. If things don’t go well on the first pass, say you can’t get an erection or you came too soon, wait a few hours or a day and iteratively work on trying to make small changes. Sex isn’t just about penetration and performance.
18. Visit good complimentary sites like Zawaj.com and islamsexlove.wordpress.com
The wedding has come and gone, and now it’s time for you and your spouse to enjoy being newlyweds. Whether you’re traveling overseas or going on a road trip, we got you covered in terms of which clothing items to pack. You are most likely going somewhere warm, so we’ll stick to tips for that specific climate. Here they are:
- Lightweight scarves – We recommend viscose or rayon fabrics.
Photo by Nafinia Putra available on Unsplash.com
- Palazzo Pants – They are very lightweight and airy, perfect for those super hot tropical days.
- Maxi Skirts/Dresses – Your go-to items for super hot weather, for obvious reasons of course. To make things even easier, look for fully lined skirts and dresses especially if you don’t want to show too much (recommended for our hijab-wearing sisters).
Photo by Suhyeon Choi available on Unsplash.com
- ‘Burkini’ or something modest to swim in – Trust us, you’ll really want to go the extra mile. Watching everyone else swim is no fun.
- Sandals/Heels/Sneakers – Bring sandals for your everyday use, but also a pair of sneakers in case you are participating in activities (kayaking, zip-lining, etc.)
Photo by Abigail Keenan available on Unsplash.com
- Lingerie/PJs – It’s your honeymoon, bring a different set for every night. Also, bring your comfy PJs.
We thought it would be beneficial to write these out in a list-format. One thing we recommend not bringing along are jeans. Jeans in tropical heat is not a good idea. They will stick to you and that’s not a pleasant feeling. Melanie of Haute Hijab said it best: “You’ll want to avoid layering as much as possible and maxi dresses and skirts are the best way to do that.”
Our Editor, Marwa, also blogged her honeymoon looks, “[One] thing I learned from this trip is NOT to over-pack. I found myself using the same shoes and purse (while I packed about 5 pairs and 2 purses). I always make sure I have enough outfits for each day, but then that thought jumps in my mind of “what if…” I like to be safe than sorry, but we just need to know where to draw the line. Instead of bringing extra outfits – maybe just bring extra articles of clothing (like a shirt or extra pants).”
Don’t forget to refer to our previous post regarding all of the items you and your husband will need. We hope this was helpful and we hope you have a memorable, beautiful honeymoon inshAllah.
Almost every relationship involving in-laws is a sensitive one. Some things you can say to your own family, you probably should not say to your in-laws. Below are some things you probably shouldn’t say to your in-laws that may apply to you, your spouse, your children, their children, etc.
Photo by Azlan DuPree available under Creative Commons Attribution License.
- We won’t be able to make it, as we’re spending it with our family.
- My parents never did that (or would never do that).
- Could you talk to your son/daughter for me?
- My husband/wife doesn’t like it that way.
- Does this have a gift receipt?
- Wow, you look tired.
- Thanks for making dinner but I don’t eat that.
- He/she may not be perfect but he/she’s all mine.
- You’re welcome to come over any time, just give me a heads-up.
- Thanks, but I don’t need your help/advice/opinion.
- You did your part, now let me handle him/her.
- Do you need some help cleaning your house?
- Thanks for sharing but when I need your advice, I’ll ask for it.
- Times have changed we parent this way, not the way you did.
- These are my children, not yours.
- Raising kids is different now.
- Can you babysit our kids when we go out?
We are sure once you add in cultural sensitivities there are many more don’ts. The key thing is to treat your in-laws with the same respect you would like your own parents to be treated.
Deciding on your honeymoon destination is one of the many difficult decisions you have to make when getting married. At most, your honeymoon will factor three things: time, money, and interests. We hope the following will help narrow down your choices. Ask yourself: Do we want to?
Photo by Andrea Vincenzo Abbondanza courtesy of Unsplash.
- Save or Splurge
- Miles/Points or Cash
- Cheap Eats or Fine Dining
- Travel Time <12 Hours or Day+
- Limited Time or Open Schedule
- Domestic or International
- Land or Sea (Cruise)
- Island or Inland
- Package or Own Itinerary
- Relaxing or Activity-filled
- Adventurous or Prudent
- Explore Culture or Do Sightseeing
- Nature or Vibrant City
- Resort or Private Enclave
- Beach or Mountains
These are the main things you should think about when trying to decide where to go. This should help you really narrow things down and come to a decision you’re both happy with. Happy planning!
A few insider secrets to get you started. First: Talk, Talk, Talk! Talk to your would-be-spouse, talk to friends, talk to travel experts. The purpose in the initial conversations is just to share and learn expectations, find out from others what worked for them or did not, and also get some expert help if needed.
Among the many decisions you will make, deciding the honeymoon will be an important one. It is one where you learn to listen, explore, then narrow the options down, until you figure out what works for both of you. Share your dreams, as well as real world realities. Perfect honeymoons don’t just happen, they have to be thoughtfully planned and then of course a few prayers also help.
Photo by Lukasz Jakubowski courtesy of Pexels Stock Photos.
Ideally you want your perfect honeymoon to be a combination of romantic, fun, and memorable. Are you looking for unique or something tried and trusted? On the Mainland, Hawaii, Caribbean, Europe, Mid-East or Asia (not to forget going down under, Australia/New Zealand)?
How far are you willing to travel? The further by air, the more jet lag and time you need to recover. How far is the hotel from the airport, city, and places of attraction?
Don’t be shy in letting airline, hotel and other staff know you are on your honeymoon. It can pay dividends.
Pay attention to detail for example, airline seats, cruise ship cabins, size of bed, king/queen, logistics of getting to or from the airport, cruise terminal. For cruises, make sure you know what is covered including one way or round trip air-travel.
If you like to pack in a lot of activities, that’s okay, but allow down time also. Whether that be sleeping in or taking a siesta. Get recommendations for restaurants from local tourist boards, hotel staff, cab drivers, and of course, online reviews.
These are some of the keys to a perfect honeymoon. However, the greatest secret just as in wedding planning is to allow for the unplanned. Baggage may get delayed or lost, there may be a mix up in reservations, you may get two twin beds instead of the king, one of you may get hurt or become sick, the lights may go out, a natural disaster can strike. Not that these are the worst that could happen, but wait for it, you could get into an argument that escalates.
A honeymoon is a great immersion experience for your marriage ahead. If you let go of expectations, are willing to laugh things off, you will have the perfect honeymoon.