Arranged marriage. Now that I have your attention, a question that I have to field lately by my co-workers is “How did you meet your wife?” While trying to be truthful, but reveal it in a positive light, I stumble through my words to give an answer.
It’s not a surprise to see the shock when they hear that it was an arranged marriage. They can’t believe that we (my wife and I), by God’s infinite mercy are happily married since almost the stone age. We’re madly in love, and continue to explore and grow in our love. Yet, our lives started as two total strangers.
Even in the present, arranged marriages have a place in society. Note, we are not talking about “forced marriages” or arranged marriages with wrong intentions. It’s unfair to take outliers and use them to demonize a norm of society.
As a disclaimer, we will be the first to say that arranged marriages of the past do not have a place for children of immigrants where this was the cultural norm.
Here are 10 reasons to have a perfectly arranged marriage:
- Your parents usually pay for the wedding, not always.
- You have a whole lifetime to discover each other.
- With parents as filters, your social and family compatibility is almost a guarantee.
- There are no matchmaker fees as the “Aunties” just love to make introductions.
- You only emotionally invest in one person, so there are no dating games and/or heartbreaks.
- You will be a happy couple when you agree to share your parents guidance.
- Stress-free parental introduction. Yes that’s right, you don’t need to worry what the parents are going to think about your choice because well, they have the inside scoop.
- The honeymoon lasts about 2 years instead of a week, as you two are total strangers getting to know each other.
- Free childcare. Now that your parents are bought-in to your marriage, you can count on them to babysit. So go ahead and take that vacation or go to the movies.
- Less chance of being accidentally left out of your parents’ will and living trust if you get their buy-in before the wedding.
- Bonus. There are no blind dates, as Mom, Pops, “Auntie” Ji, and the whole family is with you on the date.
- Bonus, Bonus. You will have a Hollywood or Bollywood happily ever after ending. You just now have to fill in your love story, work hard on it and pray.
Perfect Muslim Wedding