10 Habits of Happy Muslim Couples

A happy couple isn’t necessarily a perfect couple but they have sound habits that provide anchors in their marriage.  Pretty much all these habits apply to Muslims and people of other faiths. If there is an over-arching rule being Muslim it is knowing that Allah (God) is witness to our intents, desires, and actions, and if we are aware of this that will go a long way in building a happy relationship. Here are the “Ten Habits of Happy Muslim Couples.”

  1. You accept each other, without trying to change each other. Like most things in life easier said than done. However, once you become aware of this it will be an “Aha” moment. Whether it be your spouse, children or other persons in your sphere, the only one you can really change is yourself.
  1. You listen with the purpose of understand before replying. Acknowledging your spouse is one of the greatest gifts you can give them in any interaction. Feeling they are heard goes a long way, as opposed to it becoming a debate where one side is trying to outwit the other.
  1. You make trust and forgiveness your default mode. This may sound like motherhood and apple pie, but again it is something if you consciously work on will pay dividends. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt even when you feel it is their fault.
  1. You respect boundaries and each other’s humanness. There is some trial and error in figuring out boundaries, but once you know where they are tread carefully.
  1. You use the power of touch. We live in a touch deprived culture. One of the beauties of most Muslim cultures is the power of hugs and yes kisses too among family and friends. Every day with your spouse greet and end with a kiss. Give them a back or shoulder rub. Where sometimes words are ineffective the power of touch can come into play.
  1. You are generous with you compliments. Compliments cost nothing and are priceless. Be authentic, but hand them out freely. This is another way of validation and making your spouse feel valuable.
  1. You have healthy fighting rules. We’re not talking physical here. You’re going to get into arguments. Never use the “D” word, i.e. divorce or threaten to leave, or name call, as much as you may feel like. Don’t bring up past arguments, or use “you never”, “you always.”
  1. You give without the expectation of getting anything in return. Generosity means giving unconditionally. No If’s buts’ ands.
  1. You show love every day, not just on special occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s day are opportunities to show love, demonstrating your love every day is priceless.
  2. You create memories. Whether it be through photos, scrapbooks, or just retelling of stories, creating long-term storage of happy memories will give your marriage a periodic boost.