How to have a Drone-friendly Muslim Wedding

Drones, like cell phones, are becoming ubiquitous. Even at weddings. Here are 13 types of drones invented by Perfect Muslim Wedding.

Photo by NCDOTcommunications available under a Creative Commons Attribution-license
Photo by NCDOTcommunications available under a Creative Commons Attribution-license
  1. Wedding Planner Drone. Instead of hiring a real wedding planner, you can rent a Wedding Planner Drone which will hover above your wedding. It will make sure everything flows perfectly on your wedding day. Anyone ruining the event will be considered collateral damage.
  2. 24 Hour Catering Drone. If you only have a 24-hour notice to get married, this drone will take care of all your catering and wedding needs (honeymoon not included).
  3. Photography Drone. These, by the way, are real. This drone brings aerial photography to the masses. The best ones will capture the bride, groom and guests in the perfect angle at the perfect time, avoiding those awkward moments when someone photographs you with a mouthful of food.
  4. Wedding Registry Drone. Drones in the near future will be used by retailers to deliver anything you order within an hour. Look for the Perfect Muslim Wedding logo on the drone up above, it may be just delivering your wedding registry.
  5. Wedding Gift Removal Drone. For those guests who cannot read “no boxed items” on the invite and bring those huge boxes to the wedding, don’t you worry. This drone will take your gifts to a secure place where you can have them destroyed.
  6. Security Drone. These drones look for potential danger signs, anything suspicious like perhaps, a red wedding dress (watch out South Asian brides) or a red car or red bridesmaids or red hands (watch out for the henna).
  7. Sniffer Drone. These drones will have the ability to smell their way to WMDs (that’s Weapons of Mass Destruction). Avoid turmeric, garlic, and masalas in the biryani and menu.
  8. Unwanted Guest Drone. For those uninvited guests, this drone can either come and pick them up with its claws and drop them off in the nearest moat, or just take them out.
  9. Handwriting Drone. Yes, you guessed it, this drone imitates your handwriting to send out personal invites before the wedding and thank-you cards afterwards.
  10. Toastmaster Drone. No longer do you have to spend days and months preparing for that wedding speech. The Toastmaster Drone knows your preferences, and with the touch of a button can jumble hundreds of thousands of incoherent words into the most beautiful wedding speech ever.
  11. All-in-one Entertainment Drone. No need to hire a DJ, this is your one-man-band, who can play your favorite music, sing and perform a Bollywood dance number too.
  12. Flower Drone. Who needs real flowers? This drone will project center-piece holograms of every style onto all the tables.
  13. Future Spouse Detector Drone. So as not to take sneaky covert photos of people you are attracted to, this drone detects potential spouses with the perfect chemistry on your behalf (assuming you’re in the market).

Drones, are another piece of technology that will change our lives. Just make sure if you use them that you know how to fly them, you’re in an open area (not a tent) and that you are permitted to do so by law (good luck if you’re a Muslim). You, too, can have a drone-friendly Muslim Wedding.

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