Top 40 Pieces of Advice For a Long and Healthy Muslim Marriage

There is no such thing as the perfect marriage like there is no such thing as a perfect wedding. However, there are things we can do to have a happy and healthy marriage.


1. God, spouse, children…in that order.

2. Marriage isn’t 50/50, but divorce is.

3. Marriage has to be 100/100.

4. Avoid the 3 C’s. Never complain, criticize, and/or condemn.

5. Avoid the D word: Divorce.

6. Learn from others, but don’t compare.

7. Make your spouse look good in front of their family and friends.

8. When you get into a conflict, stop, evaluate and use wisdom. Ask yourself what the end result is that you want. You have a choice to be right or be happy.

9. If there is an inkling you were at fault, apologize.

10. Forgive unconditionally.


11. Forget about marrying the right person and more about becoming the right person.

12. Humor is an awesome icebreaker for tension.

13. Dress up for your spouse.

14. Listen to understand, not to counter.

15. Commit to your marriage 100%.

16. You will be attracted to many other people in your lifetime, but never let the window through which you see the other become the door with which you exit your marriage.

17. Not everything needs to be said.

18. You don’t have to divulge everything of your past and present, but never hold secrets.

19. Pray together.

20. Love and appreciate the whole package


21. Make your bedroom a fight-free zone.

22. Have “we” time every day, take a walk.

23. We all need positive role models, make sure the energy you get from others is one that will give you hope.

24. Create positive memories.

25. Always assume your spouse has the best intentions.

26. Avoid “you always“ and “you never.”

27. Don’t bring past fights into present fights.

28. Love is a verb, what did you do to love today?

29. Make space for sincere friends.

30. Marriage is like a marathon. Take the long term view, breathe, and don’t give up when the going gets tough.


31. Any relationship, including marriage, is proven not during the good times, but the challenging times.

32. When he wants it, treat your husband like your child, positive reinforcement works.

33. Be concerned about your responsibilities, the rights will hopefully take care of themselves.

34. Touch is very important in relationships, give long, deep kisses and hugs.

35. A thoughtful meaningful gift is more important than the amount of money you spend on it.

36. Forget trying to change your spouse.

37. Leave out the “you,” start with “I.”

38. Remember the 5:1 Ration of Dr. John Gotman. At least 5 positive comments to one negative.

39. Rather than change your partner, change your routine.

40. Reinvent your marriage every so often.